Total Breakdown

So things turn out pretty bad yesterday. It was a total breakdown for me. First time in my life I've been in this situation and I really don't know how to react. I did apologize to all of the people I mention yesterday and the one that's badly damage is Fawaa. I'm sorry, I just really am. 

I'm tired of crying yesterday. I really feel bad. 

Takedown Tuesday

Yesterday, I've been up for almost 24 hours and I got so tired. At 3 am and I'm still awake doing stuff; downloading movies and tidying up the bed. I have morning class the next morning. After finished downloading, I went to bed. I didn't even realize what time when I slept last night. 

I woke up in the morning around 8:45 am. Sera woke me up. She went to the shower first and I'm still in bed snuggling and cuddling with my big pillow. I was feeling so lazy this morning. I don't even know why. So, I told Sera that I'm not feeling so well and still tired from last night. I decided not to come to class but she insisted me going. She scolded a bit and all I did was just to pretend sleeping and making weird-sick look face. I just don't give a damn care to her and her words. I just wanna sleep until I got enough of it. 

At 11:00 am I'm awake and I think the sleeping thingy is enough but I'm still lazy to get up. So, I just lie down on my bed and play with my phone. Then, Fawaa yell to me to wake up and said things like "Dah laa tak pergi class!" I was like what the hell bitch, you skipped class like a thousand time and I didn't even said a damn thing about it but when I tried one and then you said that, well fuck you too. 

I checked my phone and Sera text me saying that the lecturer gave us assignment and needed to be sent right away at that time. Shit ! I need extra marks for this subject and if I don't hand in that assignment, I'm doomed for this subject. The beginning of a worst Tuesday ughhh. 

I got myself ready for the day; showering and stuff, then headed down to the living room to start my study routine (newest thing to do now as finals is just so near) when suddenly she come down and asked me about going to the musical. Of course I don't wanna go. I'm skipping class right now and you expect me to go to the musical with you ! Are you dumb or what ?! 

Then she went out with her boyfriend to I don't know where and I intend to not ask. Not long after that, Sera got home from class and told me that the assignment can be send this Thursday. Thank God ! I really need to hear that to ease my mind. I called Ogie to checked up on him which I know that he's still sleeping. I just want to wake him up and make him to buy me lunch because Fawaa is out and Sera already got her lunch and what about mine ? 

Unfortunately, my calling just wakes him up and he feels annoyed. He kinda scolded a bit and it was really hurting me. Just a bit though but he should know that I'm a total sensitive girl. I hung up. Just let him be that way. I still dunno what's for lunch.

So, Ogie just called me and asked me to have lunch with him. I said no because I just don't want to eat. I'm trying to gather my ana and mia. If I eat, I have to confront mia, I don't want to confront her. She scares me. I just wanna go with ana. She's much more easier but yet still hard to be with. I have to be strong. 

On my own

The past few weeks I have been ordering the same food every night. Reason ? Because both of my friend went out. So, what for dinner then ? I've got to eat. Well, I guess I'll just order then. I really feel they've been out almost all night and left me all alone in the house. I feel deserted. Like a lot deserted. 

Another thing is Ogie's not giving me the attention that I needed. I just dunno what's happening right now. Maybe we just got too busy preparing ourselves for finals. I miss him. Though we're so close yet I still feel him far away from me. 

I love you, Ogie

Books and papers

Here I am lying on my bed writing this post. I've been more lazier everyday to keep updating this blog. Not because I'm too busy, I'm just lazy. Too much laziness. I got a lot of things to do actually but I keep on delaying it. I'm doing my best right now to procrastinate. Urgh procrastination, why you inside of me ? 

Semester 2 has been so great. Unfortunately, it's getting to an end. Finals is just around the corner; in two weeks time. Piles of assignments to be submitted before semester breaks, lots of study to be done and I got a lot of time to do all of that actually. But laziness comes every time, everyday. Damn you, laziness.

I got my MARA already and now my pocket is full of 5k. I'm still keeping it inside. Future saving hehe. Ogie got himself an iPad mini. Fawaa got herself an iPad mini too and iPhone 5s. So does Rafe too (just the 5s tho) while I'm just stuck with my Samsung Mega. I really would want an iPhone but maybe later. I still love my mega elephant :).

There's this one weird sick roommate we got. She's married with one child. I don't like her. She's full of shit. I hate her. She's stupid. Everybody in the house don't like her. 

Fawaa's birthday is just a few days left. I need a birthday pranks master plan. I need Mr Google's help. I hope there's flour and feather haha. Definitely a cake is needed. What's a birthday without a cake :)

Ogie and I, we're getting nearer to our happy one year/12 months. I can't wait ! 21 April ! The day I've been waiting for hihi. I've planned for a nice date on 20 April as it's on Sunday but I dunno if that's gonna work because I have Mandarin oral test Monday morning; our happy one year day ! uhukkss

Arghh need to study. Okay bye