Saturday, March 8, 2014

Wasting hours

It's been a week I'm at home since mid-sem break started and I had not even touch my assignment yet. Worst part is I'm going back tomorrow. Yikes ! Luckily, I 'm going back a little early to school because of an unfinished TESL Methodology assignment and it's due on Tuesday. So, I guess I'll have to spare some time to do my assignments.

I forgot to mention, I'm in semester 2 doing degree TESL. Yeah, times do run fast and here I am walking slowly wasting time.

The past few days, I've been busy not with assignments but watching couple of movies and re-watching the ANTM 19 (American Next Top Model). Ahhh such a great time I had. I didn't even realize it's Friday already and I'm going back on Saturday. Such a dumbo ! Dumbo o' noeanna. 

I've been struggling with few problems and it's been bothering me ever since and I don't like that. I'm trying to throw away all my bad feelings and emotions out but it just seems doesn't work. The more alone I am, the more I think. And it's making me getting headache and I don't like it. Crying is also normal these days. If I'm at UNISEL right now, I'd be tearing my arms until bloods come out. I love the feel of pain. Makes me feel relieved all of sudden. 

Unfortunately, I'm at home and the only knife that I see is only the kitchen knife. I wouldn't dare to use that. How am I supposed to take it to my bedroom. Mum will totally be suspicious. I don't want them to know. I don't want them to worry. I just can't wait to get back and start tearing. That's how I deal with stress. Well, enough of that.

It's 1:00 am. Okay bye. Gonna continue watching Harry Potter :)

Wednesday, March 5, 2014


girls, gif, black white, heartbroken, quotes, break, upset, cry, hurt, tumblr

I don't know how to write this but I have to write about this. Because if I don't, I will just let it keep inside of me. I don't really share my problems with. Just now, recently, I always spill it out to my boyfriend. He's my best friend right now. I tell him everything and he tells me everything; there's no secret between us.

I want to cry but I hold on to it. A few months ago, I got so depressed that I started to self-cut. I've stop for a while after telling my boyfriend about it. He doesn't wants to see me hurting myself. And now, the urge to cut has come again. I can't breathe. 

It hurts to know the fact that you can't be with your love one. Bye