because you know you're on your own

when the time has come, I know it's you, Ben. just not today. 

I don't really know him, not even for his real name but I do feel attracted to him. at first I think it's him. I think I like him but not really I guess. he's just being playful and friendly.  that's all. it's not him. this feeling inside me, they don't need to stay . just let it out. I'm fucking serious! it's not him. just forget about it. I barely even know him. but this fucking feeling just won't go. fuck! I need something else to crash my mind. gotta take a walk. indeed, I'm still searching. what the fuck am i writing I don't even know.